


All is fair in Love and Speeding

by Heroine_jpeg



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkward Dates, Bars and Pubs, Cop Karkat, DJ Dave Strider, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Humanstuck, Idiots in Love, M/M, Nightclub, Romance, Simp Dave, slowburn, speeding ticket
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23072695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heroine_jpeg/pseuds/Heroine_jpeg
Summary: He doesn't know what kind of drugs Gamzee must have slipped into his drink to get him to agree to come to this busted ass clup with him and his punkass boyfriend. Just from outside he could hear the pounding music that probably was gonna give him a headache as soon as he entered the building. (Not that he didn't already have one)-----------------------------------Karkat is just a bitchy big city cop doing his best. What happens when he crosses paths with the notorious, self-proclaimed human disaster, Dave fucking Strider.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara/Tavros Nitram, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 18





	All is fair in Love and Speeding

**Author's Note:**

> :3

Karkat was pissed. He was also very much tired, but more importantly he was pissed.

He doesn’t know what kind of drugs Gamzee must have slipped into his drink to get him to agree to come to this busted ass club with him and his punkass boyfriend, Tavros. Just from outside he could hear the pounding music that probably was gonna give him a headache as soon as he entered the building. (Not that he didn’t already have one.)

“Hold it there, Karbro,” Gamzee said, holding out a pack of cigarettes “Want one?” 

He scoffed and pushed it away.

“You know I don’t do that shit, Asshole. Why? Are you trying to add me to your brother's little gang of drug-addicted whores?”

He shrugged and murmured with a wicked smirk, “Never too late to start.”

“Whatever, you can stay out here and blaze it while you wait for Tavros. I wanna sit my ass down.” 

He pushed past Gamzee as he lazily pulled a lighter out of his pocket. The flames licked at the end of the cigarette as smoke slowly started to trickle out the end. 

Inside the music was deafening, and the flashing lights made him wanna puke. Fuck he regreted coming here. But it was for his best friend, and he could use the social interaction. After he finished college and joined the police department he sudenly had no free time, and when he did he just goes home and burrows himself in his room only to pass the fuck out. 

He remembers when he was 10, and he told his Dad about his dream of becoming a police officer. His Dad laughed in his face. They lived in a poor community, where unjust police shootings were frequent, plus Karkat was already considered small for his age. But he worked his ass off, harder than any of his peers, and here he was, the youngest officer in his county. He took his job very seriously, and truly believed he was making his community a better, safer place. That still didn’t stop him from being a little prick though.

He quickly found an open barstool and quickly ordered himself a drink. Nothing too heavy, he had an early shift tomorrow, and he didn’t feel like waking up with a killer headache tomorrow. 

He glanced over to the DJ booth he saw a seemingly young blond man with a red hoodie, wearing fucking shades inside. What a tool, Karakat thought, still keeping his gaze trained on him. Despite the obvious turnoff that was the glasses there was still something oddly… pleasing about his face. He continued to stare, slowing starting to space out. The only thing that brought him back to it was, oh shit, the douche looking right back at him. He didn’t know how long the asshat was staring back, or if he was even looking at him.

Fuck those stupid fucking shades, he cursed, averting his eyes, choosing to instead glare at the table as his face heated up. When he finally looked back at the dick was smiling at him, giving him a small salute. His hand tightened hard around his glass, so hard he thought it could shatter beneath his grubby little hands.

Then a low female voice cut in.

“Hey kid, you okay?” 

It was Porrim, one of Kankri's buddies. Her loose tank top fell low on her chest, tight jeans clinging to her plump hips as she leaned forward over the counter, a smile lurking in the corner of her mouth, but her eyebrows knitted together in concern. 

“Yeah, I’m… fine,” He muttered. There was no way in hell he was letting her know what had gotten his panties in a twist. He checked the DJ booth, and he was still there playing his stupid remixes.

“Wow, I’m hurt, Karkat,” She said, sighing dramatically, “I never thought you were the type to lie straight to my face. What, Mr. DJ got you all hot and bothered?”

He gaped like a fish out of water, before spluttering “No, I… I’m just fucking tired, okay?” 

“Hmmm, sure little man. Well, I gotta go, have fun ogling Dave, I guess.” She said, swaggering her way over to the older gentlemen who just had sat himself a couple stools down.

Dave. Great, at least now he knew the bastard's name. Not that he wanted to anyway. He decided to forget about this, and not let it ruin his night. He does have a tendency to hyperfixate himself on stuff that other people would consider mildly embarrassing or irritating.

He started doing the breathing exercise his brother taught him. He’d probally look stupid doing it but he didn’t care, it catered especially to moments like these, (i.e. when he was losing his shit for absolutely no reason) and he particullary needed it right now. As annoying and self righteous Kankri was, he was still his brother who loved and cared for him.

He still remembered the night Kankri had taught it to him clear as day. Kankri had come into the kitchen while he was warming up his ramen noodles in his microwave. He was still in college, but he and Kankri had been sharing an apartment for a while. They had to stick together after Dad had died. Karkat had a particularly bad day. He had come home tears streaming down his face, and shaking with poorly concealed rage. Vriska, one of his upperclassmen, had told him he would never make it as a cop, and he’d probably kill himself before he graduated anyways. 

“Hello, Karkat,” He said, slowly reaching out and tenderly putting a firm hand on karkats back, “You okay?”

Kankri's brevity surprised him, and somehow pissed him off more.

“I’m Fine,” He hissed through his tears.

But suddenly he whipped around, and buried his head in Kankri's shoulder, sobbing. He clung to Kankri, hanging off his sweater. The same damned red sweater he wore every single fucking day. He choked on his tears, and he felt his chest constrict.

“Karkat, it’s okay,” He whispered, “Just breathe. Come on do it with me.”

He drew in a shaky breath, hesitating. Then, he nodded into Kankri’s shoulder.

“In.”

1\. 2. 3. 4.

“Hold it.”

1\. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

“Out.”

1\. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 

“Were gonna do it again okay? We can do it as many times as you need it. Just focus on your breathing, okay?”

“Okay.”

They had done it again, and again, and again, until he was okay. Then Kankri gave him one of his infamous lectures, but he didn’t listen. He had eaten and gone into his room, but he was in a good mood for the rest of the night. 

He took another sip from his glass. He didn’t even notice it had already been refilled. He looked up to Porrim, and she winked and mouthed My treat, before going back to talking some poor girl into a stupor.

He jerked, almost falling out of his chair as a large hand slammed down onto his shoulder, and a deep, gravely voice said, “You enjoying yourself, Karbro?”

“Shit, Gamzee you scared the shit outta me!” He shrieked, one hand grabbing his chest, the other grabbing the counter of the bar to steady himself. 

He cackled, loud and cheerful. “Well, don’t wait up for me if you find some hottie to take home, motherfucker,” He jabbed playfully. He could see Tavros on the dancefloor in the middle of a grinding mass of bodies. 

“Go join your boyfriend, and leave me alone, asshat,” He said, but there was no real bit behind his words.

“Whatever you say, Karbro.”

Gamzee stuck his tongue out at him, and snickered when Karkat flipped him off with both hands. He definitely needed to blow off some steam when he got home, maybe rough up his pillow a bit and then yell at Kankri, or something like that.

Fuck, he needed to piss. He pushed his way into the bathroom, did his business, and then washed his hands. He swung open the bathroom door, and… BAM! 

It swung straight into some poor unfortunate soul. The man crumpled on the ground, clutching his forehead. This was so not what Karkat needed right now.

“Shit, fuck, oh shit!” He hissed, running his hands through his hair, then turning to the man on the ground, “Are you okay, dude?”

“Yeah, just kinda knocked the breath outta me,” He said. His voice was deep and silky. Damn, that voice did things to him. The man still was crumpled over himself, a mess of blond hair hanging over his face. 

“Do you have a bandaid or anything?” 

“No!? Shit dude, are you bleeding?!” 

“Yeah,” He said, glancing up at Karkat, and the recognition hit him like a freight train. It was the fucking sunglasses douche. 

“I scraped my knee falling for you, babe,” He said, with a wink.

**Author's Note:**

> hey yall this is my first fanfic so im kinda nervous, but I hope u like it!


End file.
